I'm looking foward to this new train wreck!!! Tonight after Idol!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Stupidity
*Seeing a young woman driving around in a mini van the other day....with a 2 year old girl on her lap.
*Trying to order a "Sesame Bagel" at Tim Horton's and somehow having that interpreted as "Bacon Sandwich" by the stoner working the drive thru.
*Waiting 5 minutes for the stoner to figure out how to process my debit card payment.
*Talking to a listener on the phone, rambling on about winning a prize (that we didn't give out).
*Trying to convince the listener that he had us confused for another station.
*Realizing that the listener was probably high.
*Putting this list up as a blog entry.
*Wondering why people are so stupid
*Trying to order a "Sesame Bagel" at Tim Horton's and somehow having that interpreted as "Bacon Sandwich" by the stoner working the drive thru.
*Waiting 5 minutes for the stoner to figure out how to process my debit card payment.
*Talking to a listener on the phone, rambling on about winning a prize (that we didn't give out).
*Trying to convince the listener that he had us confused for another station.
*Realizing that the listener was probably high.
*Putting this list up as a blog entry.
*Wondering why people are so stupid
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Awesome stuff!
STEEL PANTHER!!!
Check out these lyrics!!
I would give you the stars in the sky but they're too far away
If you were a hooker you'd know I'd be happy to pay
If suddenly you were a guy I'd be suddenly gay
'Cause
My heart belongs to you
My love is pure and true
My heart belongs
Byt my cock is community property
Check 'em out here
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Why Paul is my favorite
Still a KISS fan after all these years. Gene Simmons is a money grubbing whore; I'll give you that. But Paul Stanley..... he just cracks me up.
The moron behind the camera asks Paul about why taking a dump is "banned" on a tour bus. Paul replies, "I don't know. We have a private jet. Sorry!"
Take that. Check it out
The moron behind the camera asks Paul about why taking a dump is "banned" on a tour bus. Paul replies, "I don't know. We have a private jet. Sorry!"
Take that. Check it out
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Nice one
From our prep service. Can you spot the error?
(Posted 3:00 AM, 3/24/2009)
David Letterman married Regina Lasko, his girlfriend of a decade and father of their son Harry, 5.
SET-UP: "David Letterman got married last Thursday, and they actually recorded his wedding night for the show, and we have it...."
**********************************************************
Did you see it?
I thought that Regina was Harry's MOTHER, and that Letterman was the FATHER.
Oops.
(Posted 3:00 AM, 3/24/2009)
David Letterman married Regina Lasko, his girlfriend of a decade and father of their son Harry, 5.
SET-UP: "David Letterman got married last Thursday, and they actually recorded his wedding night for the show, and we have it...."
**********************************************************
Did you see it?
I thought that Regina was Harry's MOTHER, and that Letterman was the FATHER.
Oops.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
quality writing
Please, is there no better title for this?
----------------
Pumpkins Drummer Makes Smashing Departure
Drummer Jimmy Chamberlin has parted ways with the Smashing Pumpkins, according to a post on the band's official website. No reason was given for the split, which leaves frontman Billy Corgan as the group's only remaining original member. "Corgan will continue to write and record as Smashing Pumpkins with plans to head into the studio this spring," reads the statement. After disbanding in 2000, the Pumpkins returned with a new album, Zeitgeist, in 2007. Smashing Pumpkins -- Official Site
Really? Is this what passes as clever?
----------------
Pumpkins Drummer Makes Smashing Departure
Drummer Jimmy Chamberlin has parted ways with the Smashing Pumpkins, according to a post on the band's official website. No reason was given for the split, which leaves frontman Billy Corgan as the group's only remaining original member. "Corgan will continue to write and record as Smashing Pumpkins with plans to head into the studio this spring," reads the statement. After disbanding in 2000, the Pumpkins returned with a new album, Zeitgeist, in 2007. Smashing Pumpkins -- Official Site
Really? Is this what passes as clever?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
More Potty Humor
"Borrowed" from a friend. The names have been changed to simply "Dude" and "Chick" to protect the innocent.....and guilty. Enjoy:
A "Dude" and his "Chick" are hanging out in their bedroom. "Dude" decides he has to pee. When he comes out of the bathroom.....
Dude: Man, I ripped like 3 huge farts in there.
Chick: (Starts to gag) Yeah, I can smell them.
Dude: (Laughing) They followed me out here?
Chick: (After spraying air freshener) I was going to get us some cheese and crackers, but I think you might want to take care of that first.
Dude: You think I need to make some room, huh? You could go get everything ready while I go.
Chick: Ok, I'll go cut the cheese while you...
At this point, "Chick" bursts into laughter and can't continue the conversation.
True story.....
A "Dude" and his "Chick" are hanging out in their bedroom. "Dude" decides he has to pee. When he comes out of the bathroom.....
Dude: Man, I ripped like 3 huge farts in there.
Chick: (Starts to gag) Yeah, I can smell them.
Dude: (Laughing) They followed me out here?
Chick: (After spraying air freshener) I was going to get us some cheese and crackers, but I think you might want to take care of that first.
Dude: You think I need to make some room, huh? You could go get everything ready while I go.
Chick: Ok, I'll go cut the cheese while you...
At this point, "Chick" bursts into laughter and can't continue the conversation.
True story.....
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
No green beer for you, mama!!
So, my friend Kelly is a mom (and now qualifies as a MILF). She has a cute little baby boy, who was born this past December.
Her husband asked her if she wanted to do anything this year for St. Patricks Day.
Kelly pointed to the baby's room and said to her husband, "That IS the result of last St. Patrick's Day!!!"
Her husband asked her if she wanted to do anything this year for St. Patricks Day.
Kelly pointed to the baby's room and said to her husband, "That IS the result of last St. Patrick's Day!!!"
Friday, March 13, 2009
Potty humor
So, I was texting with my friend Carrie last night. She mentioned that she was going to see Urinetown. (I don't know what the f*** that is....apparently it's a play.)
Me: How was pee pee city?
Carrie: It wasn't that good.
Me: Were you pissed?
Carrie: Nice one.
Me: Did it whiz by?
Not even a wee bit funny?
Carrie: That it didn't. How many of these do you have, D?
Me: A drop or so....
Carrie: Silly, D.
Me: Oh, you love me. (I was waiting for her to respond with "You're # 1" or something to that effect. But at that point.....she dumped the conversation.)
Me: How was pee pee city?
Carrie: It wasn't that good.
Me: Were you pissed?
Carrie: Nice one.
Me: Did it whiz by?
Not even a wee bit funny?
Carrie: That it didn't. How many of these do you have, D?
Me: A drop or so....
Carrie: Silly, D.
Me: Oh, you love me. (I was waiting for her to respond with "You're # 1" or something to that effect. But at that point.....she dumped the conversation.)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Hey! I was gonna eat that!
Earlier today, Johanna (our sweetheart of a sales assistant at the radio station) sent everyone this e-mail:
From: Johanna
Sent: Wed 3/11/2009 10:11 AM
To: Lansing
Subject: there's pie!
Grand Traverse just popped in, and there are two fresh pies on my desk. Yum...
I got the e-mail at home. I figured that there wouldn't be any left by the time I got into work. (Although I was secretly hoping there would be.)
When I got to work around 11:15 PM, I was delighted to see a box in the studio with a new plastic bowl on top of it.
Ah, pie, I thought. That sounds good. I could hardly wait. Then I opened the box.....
It looked as if someone had f***ed it! Remember American Pie from 10 years ago? I was pissed.....
From: Johanna
Sent: Wed 3/11/2009 10:11 AM
To: Lansing
Subject: there's pie!
Grand Traverse just popped in, and there are two fresh pies on my desk. Yum...
I got the e-mail at home. I figured that there wouldn't be any left by the time I got into work. (Although I was secretly hoping there would be.)
When I got to work around 11:15 PM, I was delighted to see a box in the studio with a new plastic bowl on top of it.
Ah, pie, I thought. That sounds good. I could hardly wait. Then I opened the box.....
It looked as if someone had f***ed it! Remember American Pie from 10 years ago? I was pissed.....
Monday, March 9, 2009
(Some) Things that make me laugh
When people pronounce the word "vehicle" vee hick uhl.
When a cashier gives me back $1.05 in change and actually says "A dollar oh five is your change." (I've heard it, several times.)
When people think that by being a radio personality that I make TONS of money, when in reality, I get paid with the station's bottle return money.
When people ask me if Domingo is my real name. (Actually that's annoying)
When my boy sings KISS songs. (Jorryn is 4 1/2. He usually gets the lyrics mixed up, but he has the melody down perfectly!)
How Seinfeld references apply to almost anything in my life. (True dat)
When a cashier gives me back $1.05 in change and actually says "A dollar oh five is your change." (I've heard it, several times.)
When people think that by being a radio personality that I make TONS of money, when in reality, I get paid with the station's bottle return money.
When people ask me if Domingo is my real name. (Actually that's annoying)
When my boy sings KISS songs. (Jorryn is 4 1/2. He usually gets the lyrics mixed up, but he has the melody down perfectly!)
How Seinfeld references apply to almost anything in my life. (True dat)
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Blame it the rain.....?
Earlier today I was heading out to run some errands and then head into work. It was raining, but I wasn't too concerned. I'll take rain over snow!
Anyway, I got on the freeway (96 Eastbound for all of you local yokels) and suddenly my car started to spin out of control!!!! It spun around and around from one side of the freeway to the next; I thought I was going to be crushed by all of the traffic going 70 MPH! I ended up safely in the median on the other side of the freeway, facing the wrong way. I was startled, to say the least. The car wasn't on fire and there didn't appear to be any problems with anything under the hood. I checked all four of the tires. They were intact. The car, which had stalled, started back up again.
Maybe I was driving too fast for conditions (it was pouring). I could have hit a slick spot.
Or maybe......just maybe...it was the song I was listening to.
It just so happened that an Elton John tune was playing on the radio.
Right, my car has taste.
Blame it on Crocodile Rock.
Anyway, I got on the freeway (96 Eastbound for all of you local yokels) and suddenly my car started to spin out of control!!!! It spun around and around from one side of the freeway to the next; I thought I was going to be crushed by all of the traffic going 70 MPH! I ended up safely in the median on the other side of the freeway, facing the wrong way. I was startled, to say the least. The car wasn't on fire and there didn't appear to be any problems with anything under the hood. I checked all four of the tires. They were intact. The car, which had stalled, started back up again.
Maybe I was driving too fast for conditions (it was pouring). I could have hit a slick spot.
Or maybe......just maybe...it was the song I was listening to.
It just so happened that an Elton John tune was playing on the radio.
Right, my car has taste.
Blame it on Crocodile Rock.
Friday, March 6, 2009
The best damn call ever
Me: Q 106
Caller: Yeah, hi. I just wanted to call and tell you how pathetic my life is.
Me: How pathetic is your life?
Caller: Well, I sit in my room...by myself, and I listen to the radio all day long.
Me: It's only pathetic if you're listening to anything other than Q 106.
Caller: Well, this is how pathetic my life is. I have no friends, so I sit.... and my only friends are Q 106. In the morning I have coffee with Bob and Tom. And they leave me at 10.
Me: But then Sheri's on.
Caller: Yeah. She's kind of hot.
Me: After you get done whacking off, then there's Mojo.
Caller: Well... (giggles) Well, I whack off to Mojo too.
Me: (laughs) And then there's Andy!
Caller:Well, no, no. See, first I think that, uh...Sheri is Heather Locklear. And then I see Mojo as a fat Pamela Anderson...
Me: (laughs)
Caller: ....with dark, short hair.
Me: And what's Andy?
Caller: Andy is like Tesla singing Love Song to me.
Me: So, what am I?
Caller: What are you?
Me: Yeah. Just some dude?
Caller: Oh, you're the teddy bear that I cuddle up with at night.
Me: I feel great now.
Caller: I love Q 106.
Me: Thanks, man.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I almost called for an ambulance...
I thought I was having a heart attack! I mean, I'm only 30! I was walking around the mall with my boy earlier. We walked by Barnes and Noble and I saw the advertisement for this book (as big as life):
My album
Okay....so I don't have photoshop, nor do I have the patience or time to play with MS Paint. It doesn't work for me.
ANYWAY......
I got this off of Facebook....
1. Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “Random Article” or click here
The first random Wikipedia article you
get is the name of your band.
2. Go to “Random quotations” or click here
The last four or five words of the very last quote
of the page is the title of your first album.
3. Go to flickr and click “explore last seven days” or click here
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use Photoshop/MS Paint or similar to put it all together. Like I said...not happening
SO........
My band name is KING VULTURE (I love that!!!)
My album title is ALWAYS BEEN TIMES LIKE THESE (which I think fits appropriatley with the album cover....)
ANYWAY......
I got this off of Facebook....
1. Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “Random Article” or click here
The first random Wikipedia article you
get is the name of your band.
2. Go to “Random quotations” or click here
The last four or five words of the very last quote
of the page is the title of your first album.
3. Go to flickr and click “explore last seven days” or click here
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use Photoshop/MS Paint or similar to put it all together. Like I said...not happening
SO........
My band name is KING VULTURE (I love that!!!)
My album title is ALWAYS BEEN TIMES LIKE THESE (which I think fits appropriatley with the album cover....)
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Um.....
"Dear God,
Please give me the strength to be a good father. Also, should you ever bless me with a daughter, PLEASE give me the strength and the will to make her turn out to be the complete opposite of THIS:
(I just threw up in my mouth a little.)
Thank you, God! You rock!
-Domingo
AMEN"
Please give me the strength to be a good father. Also, should you ever bless me with a daughter, PLEASE give me the strength and the will to make her turn out to be the complete opposite of THIS:
(I just threw up in my mouth a little.)
Thank you, God! You rock!
-Domingo
AMEN"
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